Why ten minutes a week is enough
Most relationships don't fall apart from one big blowup — they drift from small things going unsaid for too long. A minor hurt that never got mentioned. A quiet effort that never got acknowledged. A worry one partner has been carrying alone. None of these need a big dramatic conversation to resolve; they mostly just need a regular, low-pressure moment where they're allowed to come up at all. That's what the Weekly Relationship Check-In is built to create.
It's six short questions, meant to take about ten minutes together, covering what went well, what felt loving, what needs support, what stung, what you're looking forward to, and one small thing to improve. That's the whole structure — no accounts, no therapy jargon, just a steady rhythm of checking in on purpose instead of by accident.
Why these six questions, in this order
The check-in starts with appreciation on purpose — what you enjoyed and what made you feel loved — before moving into anything harder. Starting with what's going well isn't about avoiding difficulty, it's about entering the harder questions (what needs support, what hurt) from a place of goodwill rather than a cold start. It then closes by looking forward: one thing to anticipate together, and one small, concrete change for next week, so the conversation ends with direction instead of just a list of grievances.
This mirrors what a lot of couples therapists recommend informally: a regular, structured check-in prevents small issues from accumulating into resentment, precisely because there's a known, comfortable time and format for raising them instead of waiting for the "right moment" that often never comes.
How to actually use it together
- Pick a consistent time. Sunday evening, a Friday coffee, whatever's realistic — the value comes from repetition, not from finding a perfect moment.
- Decide together vs. separately. Some couples talk through each question out loud together; others write answers separately first, then read them to each other. Both work — try whichever feels less performative for you.
- Don't skip the hard ones. Question three and four (support needed, hurt feelings) are the ones most worth protecting time for, even though they're the easiest to want to rush past.
- Save or download if it's useful. You can save your answers privately on this device, or download a plain-text copy, entirely optional and entirely private to you.
Want to add a lighter moment before or after the check-in? Draw a card from our Conversation Cards, or if you're apart, pair the check-in with a Virtual Date Generator idea for the same call.
Start this week's check-in
Six questions, about ten minutes, entirely private to your device.
Start the Check-InFrequently asked questions
Most couples finish the six questions in about ten minutes, though there's no time limit — take as long as feels right.
Either works. Some couples answer together out loud, others write their own answers first and then share them with each other.
Only if you choose to save them — and even then, they're stored solely in your browser's local storage on your own device, not on a server.
Yes. After finishing, you can download a plain text file of your answers to keep or share however you'd like.